Aloha! We Are Puck and Kurt
by VaVaLaVa
Summary: You would think that you knew them by now. Not from this perspective. Puckurt.
1. Aloha! We Are Puck and Kurt

I have no rights on GLEE**

"So everyone, I got a great idea on who we should do this week…" I was on the edge of my seat hoping Mr. Schue would actually choose something this week that wouldn't involve an 80's song, "…differences."

Well this week's project seems strange since it seems none of us have any way of being alike to one another. No one matches up to my fashionable stature though this club hasn't stood for that long for me to even truly know these 11. I only talk to Mercedes and that friendship just started.

Rachel raised her hand. "Mr. Schue, I think I speak for all of us when I say that as the lead of the glee club, that we have no differences other than my talent being the only thing that keeps this club going." It is hilarious that she thinks that this group is only good because of her. News flash, I shop at Armani, she shops at Cookies. Enough said.

"Well Rachel that is the type of attitude I'm trying to change. I see the way you guys interact when not in this room. You bully, tease, and discriminate each other. So I'm going to partner you each up with, as you think, with the person you hate the most possibly in the club." That's a trick question since for me it's who I don't hate the most. Well I think it may be Finn. He is really kind and sweet. "Also I will choose what artist the pair gets. So the pairs are…" Oh sweet Gaga.

"Quinn and Rachel got Katy Perry". They really must dislike each other from the glare that they gave to one another from their sides of the room.

"Mercedes and Matt got Maroon 5". I remember the reason why Mercedes hated him very clearly. In fifth grade, he through a cookie at her, saying fatties gotta eat. That must've really hurt her feelings.

"Santana and Artie got Eminem". She made some crude comments on his wheelchair. I wish him good luck with her.

"Brittany and Finn got Nelly Furtado". I think he just chose them cause they're the nicest (yet slowest) on either side.

"Mike and Tina got Keri Hilson". Oh the irony of 2 Asians who despise the othe- oh no. I think Mr. Schue has swallowed some of his gel if he thinks I would partner up with _him._

"Kurt and Puck got Ke$ha". It seems like I'm doomed. So before I die, I would actually like to see what he says if he doesn't punch me.

Puck came out of the blue just to say, "It's hilarious if you think I'm gunna work with some fag". I guess people only see me as that boy who will jump on your cock if you even show an ounce of kindness. Tears began to develop in my eyes. Am I that disgusting? That people would have to be triple dog dared into just saying hi? My mom always told me to stand out from the crowd if you want to reach the stars.

I guess I shouldn't trust a dead woman.

"Puck, keep that sort of language out of here! This club is about acceptance and if you can't do that, then I will ask you to leave. Is that clear?" Puck said under his breath crystal. I think the worst part of me and him partnering up, would be that the artist we have to do is Ke$ha. I am a really big fan of her but her music to tell the truth, doesn't seem to reach up to Pucks' forte. I mean can you imagine Puck with glitter on his eyes and stockings ripped up? I can't.

GLEE**

**Puck's POV**

Hummel and I had to discuss what song we should do for this Kesh-Kesh chick.

"So I really don't know that many songs by Ke$ha so what do you think is the least homo song of hers?" I expected Hummel to pounce at me with the fiery attitude that makes him have dumpster surprise everyday but, he just looked down yet not before I saw the pain in his eyes. Tuh, who cares? With his confusing ass eyes which I can never understand what color it really is but any who, back to the subject.

"What would be the central idea that you would want the song to convey?" Trick question… not!

"No duh for sex, dude, I mean seriously? Puckzilla needs to shout to the heavens what he's the best at giving. There better not be any funny business in that head of yours, Lance Bass." I meant what I said. I know I'm a stud and all, but I don't want the little freak to jerk off to me at night.

"Don't worry you neanderthalic cretonne. I like men, not boys so I wouldn't like you to possess any idea of me pursuing your STD infected male organ." Who the fuck does this kid think he is? I use protection. Well, not that time but still…

"Dude, I'm more macho then anyone in the state. So there would be no doubt in my mind that your one of my fans with the cougars and girls in this town." Uno for Puckasaurus and zero for Lady FaGa.

"Can we stop this conversation before I become ill? Let's find a song of Ke$has' first. I think I have the perfect one in mind. Take It Off is definitely a strong song conveying sex. Just remember your singing this song with the gay kid next week." I know that song. That's the only song I tell Sarah to blast on her speakers. Well as long as Hummel doesn't touch my clothes then I'm down.

"Great. Now where do we go to rehearse?" I guess he was thinking with that lost look on his face for a few seconds.

"How do you feel about my house? Don't worry about any funny business even if my Dad is out for a family funeral." I remember his house. The furniture looked better when not on the roof though.

"Alright then Hummel but consider your luck that Mr. Schue made this mandatory."

He gave me his number in a sticky-note. If he had boobs, I would have already thought he was a girl from his handwriting.

Suddenly my phone vibrated against my thigh. I didn't even have to check to know Santana just sexted me. Shit, her bedroom eyes weren't that missable.

"Well before you start to get wild with lust in the janitors closet with Slutana, just remember to come by my house by 6:30, no later than 6:45." The bell ringed signaling it's time to leave McKinley. "Bye." I just waved to Hummel before I sped towards Santana and grabbed her ass while leading her to the closest closet. No doubt in my mind, when I come through, stud alert.

GLEE**

**I'm hoping you guys liked the first chapter. Here are the choices for what should be in the next chapter:**

**Kurt gets kissed by _?**

**Quinn see's Finn kiss Rachel.**

**Brittany and Mercedes perform a duet.**

**See you guys later. Yatusabe369 out. **


	2. Just Ourselves

**Hey guys. Sorry for updating soooooo late. Just to inform many fo you the music in this story will be from our present time. That is the only thing in this story that is possibly alternate universe. I was going to delete this story until I saw so many of your reviews. There will be twists. Remember I never per say said that Kurt kissed a student of McKinley High. ;3 Well here is Chapter 2.**

**I have no rights on Glee or anything else mentioned ****

**Kurts' POV**

I have to think of Choreography for this Ke$ha song. If me and Puck decide to dance like 2 drunks on the corner of a 7/11 with vomit coming up everytime we chuckle or hiccup, then my silent battle for solos against Rachel and Mercedes will be one in which I lose. Fortunately, I know how to dance as good as any of the crews on, Americas Best Dance Crew. As I begin to tut, my stomach starts to grumble. I decide to make a mushroom bacon cheeseburger with onion rings. A teenage boys gotta eat. Plus my metabolism is like Madonna on botox. A never ending cycle. While devouring my dinner, I started thinking about Puck. No doubt he is very sexy. The mohawk, his cocky smirk, that breath that smells slightly like cinnamon with a tad of mint. If he wasn't straight I would've probably rocked his world. Oh well. It seems I have to wait until college until I can start getting shit-faced drunk. I go down stairs to listen to some Maroon 5. Its 6:05 so I got some time to kill before Puck shows up. Maybe we should do a mashup…

**Pucks' POV**

I swear Santana is part vacuum because her mouth is not normal with the way she sucks dick. I was holding on to dear life on that ponytail of hers. She has too many amazing qualities. If only me and her could actually try to stop being players for just a moment but sex is too awesome. Like dude I lost my virginity when I was 12 to one of my middle school friends 16 year-old sister. It was a sleepover and I guess I was the only one who heard her crying. Something about her boyfriend being a douche bag to her over her talking to one of his friends. I made her forget about him when I made her orgasm her brains out. Ever since then, I've learned how to tie a cherry knot… on to another cherry knot. Anyway I'm heading to my POS of a truck. A duet with Hummel isn't my idea of a glee project I wanted to do. I could've gone home and watched some movies with my sister while we wait for mom to bring us some Chinese. But I really don't want to disappoint Mr. Schue. He's practically the only teacher in the school who gives a rat's ass about me. If I don't do this I'm just going to feel guilty. One duet with Kurt won't kill me.

_KURT? Since when have I ever used the faggots' name? Oh man, I think I'm getting soft. Somebody is going in a dumpster tomorrow._

I arrive at the Hummel household at 6:33, only a few minutes late. I go to knock on the door when all of a sudden it opens and Hummel is standing there with his bitch face.

"Why Noah, I could've sworn that I said 6:30, meaning on the dot. I think I made it pretty clear, didn't I?" Man I feel like knocking him off on his ass. Snooty ass bitch I'm telling' you.

"My dearest apologies, _Princesa. _I had to think of how I would look or what I was to wear to practice for one so striking." Guess he could tell I was acting sarcastic with the way his nose scrunched up.

He moved away from the door to spread it more widely as a sign of inviting me in. "Just hurry in, before you catch a damn cold, idiot."

That kind of caught me for a moment. I am not used to that kind of kindness especially coming from one of my main targets. I made a neutral face as I walked through the door. His house surprisingly doesn't look like a circus. It's actually pretty comfy.

"So have you come up with anything?" I asked as I looked around at everything seeing pictures of family members and young Hummel. It was actually the first time I saw his smile. His eyes shined so bright with innocence and happiness. Wonder what the fuck crawled up his ass while he was sleeping with his teddy bear.

"I think we should do a mash up of Ke$has', Take It Off and Nicki Minaj, Whip It. They are really good songs." He looked like he really wanted to do it so I gave in and nodded but not before asking how does that Nicki Minaj song go? He gave me his iPhone with his headphones and I listened to it while slowly nodding my head. Never knew Minaj could sing too.

"Fine but I get the rap parts." I wasn't going to do all that singing. I was just gunna – as Artie says – spit fire into the mic. He began to nod his head so hard, I thought he would get whiplash. Get it? Whip it, whiplash….. Who cares what you think? I have a dragon in the basement. Anyway, we begun to try to choose what parts would be included in the song. I was thinking of the props. Whips, chains, leather – woah got dazed around there. Hopefully we do good 'cause if I can't prove people wrong about who I am, then maybe I could prove to people the star potential that Hummel has. He seems to have dreams that are going to get him on Channel 5 news for good things. He isn't dumb enough to screw his best friends girlfriend and get her pregnant. But I am.

***GLEE***

**So guys I am going to put, Kurt's, first kiss later in the story. Until then wish Puckurt luck on their soon to come Journey… Both of them.**

**See you guys later. Yatusabe369 out.**


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